R.I.P. Eugene J. Polley (Lazy Americans Salute You)

Posted on May 22, 2012

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Eugene Polley with an Emmy Award for his contributions to remote control technology in 1997

Sedentary humans, TV sets  and couch cushions across the globe are in mourning this week over the death of Eugene J Polley, the father of the remote control.

This Great American, a hero to fat people everywhere, died Sunday at the age of 96.

From MSNBC dot com:

According to a press release put out by Zenith — the company with which Polley started his 47-year engineering career in 1935 — the innovator earned 18 U.S. patents for his inventions, which include the “Flash-matic” remote control. This device, introduced in 1955, “used a flashlight-like device to activate photo cells on the television set to change channels.”

Crazy huh? But it’s true folks, TV remotes came along decades after the invention of the television and once upon a time we actually had to GET UP, walk across the room to manually change the channels and the volume.

Can you imagine?

So long Eugene J Polley, we forgive you for how fat we’ve become because we don’t have to hoist our girth up to find American Idol or Two and Half Men, or turn down the screeching volume on one of those gawd-awful, obnoxious ‘that was soooo 17 seconds ago’ commercials from AT&T.

We ask that everyone fly their TV antennas at half staff tomorrow in remembrance of the father of the remote control.

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