America: Now With SUPER Self Absorbency!

Posted on October 10, 2012

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Kard Boo Boo’s – that’s us…

Once upon a time, Americans wanted better public figures.

It was a golden age, a time before time, when any young movie star not named Schwarzenegger could become governor of (and pronounce without sounding like a Nazi) California.

No more.

Today, we don’t just want our president to have a beer with us, we need him to brew it in the White House.

We want singers from karaoke bars.

Or really skinny, naked and auto-tuned (Katy Perry & Kei$ha = the whole enchilada).

We desire TV stars with sex tapes and the manners of a Viking (the brutal pillaging type of thousands of years ago, not Minnesota purple people eaters).

It’s time for an intervention America.

Art is a reflection of society. Or so I read once somewhere.

But in art (and politics too) its like, well… like we want a reflection to soothe our inferiority complex.

Its how we get reality shows with uber rich versions of our slutty friend Liz, or shows following a version of our obese 3rd cousin Claudine and her thirteen slack-jawed offspring, because c’mon, we all have that relative who dropped out of school in junior high and thinks Target is for rich folks.

The Kard Boo Boos among us have lowered expectations (and IQs) to dangerously low levels.

I say we supplement the stupid, for every 8 hours you keep up with the Kardashians, you must watch at least an hour of Downton Abbey.

You wanna watch Honey Boo Boo?  Fine, gimme an hour of CSpan.

If you’re a fan of both shows extreme measures might be necessary, I recommend a Prairie Home Companion marathon.

Hopefully, that will wring the shallow simpleton vibe outta the super absorbent, self obsessed sponge that is our collective soul.

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