Toaster Coasters For Everybody!

Posted on March 24, 2013


I’m not a good gift-giver. Terrible in fact. I am great at gift-receiving, I’m a natural in fact.

But gift giving, not so much. Now though, Facebook has come up with a solution to help me, they’ve made gift giving as easy as liking or poking or saving kids from that awful Kony guy in Africa.

But even with that tool I’m still terrible with gifts. Luckily, and this is true in several aspects of my life – my wife Amy makes up for it. Always at the forefront of trends my beloved, she was quick to take advantage of the new Facebook birthday gift feature which enables one to reach out and touch someone with a birthday click from one’s Facebook page. That’s how I wound up with these –

Not to be confused with 'Toasted Coasters' made for stoners worried about water rings on their end tables.

Not to be confused with ‘Toasted Coasters’ made for stoners worried about water rings on their end tables.

Our friend Rob shares a birthday with yours truly (3/3) and my wife sent him a gift from the two of us via the Facebook Gift Shop, a set of Toaster Coasters, a clever little loaf of bread-shaped, beverage-sweat absorbers made from cork.

So real I almost put some ham and a piece of cheese between these cork coasters!

So real I almost put some ham and a piece of cheese between them!

Facebook gifting works like this; under the listing of your FB buddies birthday you now see an option to send them a gift. Select something (may I suggest Toaster Coasters if you’re on a budget), pay for it and Facebook sends your FB BFF a notice asking for their address and within a few days, hey, wait a minute Mr Postman, a FB BD GFT arrives on their (and if you’re lucky like moi’ in this case, your) doorstep.

The package itself is pretty sweet too, your gift comes inside a white burlap sack with a FB Blue drawstring. Inside the sack, alongside your gift is a Facebook ‘Like’ Sticker in case you wanna ‘Like’ something in real life.  

Rob’s Toaster Coasters arrived and the next day another set was delivered. Then another. Then a fourth Facebook Toaster Coaster birthday gift from us to Rob arrived courtesy the US Postal Service.

Rob generously re-gifted us a set because A) he is a nice guy like that an B) no matter how much one entertains – one rarely needs 40 sliced-bread-shaped cork coasters.

Upon learning of the Facebook B-Day Gift cloning episode I asked my wife the important question; Were we paying for each one of these Toaster Coaster sets? Every white burlap bag, every ‘Like’ sticker? No, she assured me.

Reassured I waited and sure enough, through rain, sleet, snow and sequester – our mailman brought our Toaster Coaster set Saturday and since it was on Zuckerburg’s dime (and Rob even paid the postage!) I decided to splurge and purchase some decent beer in honor of Rob’s birthday and our good fortune and Facebook’s birthday gift supplier’s screwed up shipping system.


My Cork, Bread-Shaped Beverage Sweat Absorbers

Toaster Coaster sets are far from the only thing Zuckie & Friends offer in the Facebook store, just the cheapest. Just kidding Rob, there’s like 6 or 7 things less expensive. You can send the postman to your pal’s door with a burlap bag of jewelry, a gift card or a stuffed animal.

If your Facebook enrolled friends aren’t cheap like me you may get or (also if you’re not me), give your FB BFF flowers, candy or something unique, a charitable donation or a gourmet food subscription, there’s books, bowls, alarm clocks and something called a ‘Glass Globe & Air Plant’.

But my favorite thing on the Zuck Gift List; booze (hint, hint;) you can send your over 21 FB buds wine bottles, wine baskets and (BIG Hint, Hint) home-brew beer kits.

And what did Rob get me for our shared birthday? After I generously acknowledged that my wife had been thoughtful enough to send Rob a gift and put my name on it?

To Boldly Cut Pizza...

To Boldly Cut Pizza… I Like!

El-Cheapo got himself this nifty USS Enterprise Pizza Cutter!

'My friend got me a thoughtful gift and all I got was this lousy cork coaster' - Rob

‘My friend got me a thoughtful gift and all I got was this lousy cork coaster’ – Rob

What can I say, I told you I was a terrible gift-giver. But I am a great gift-receiver and say, did you know you’d could find some inexpensive and cool gift ideas on ‘the Facebook’ now (HINT-HINT)?  

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