A Deer Urine Soaked Wife: Back to Duck Dynasty

Posted on March 26, 2013

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It’s been a while since I visited with the Duck Dynasty clan, too long in fact.

So I fixed that and started catching up on the antics of my famous neighbors with a new episode, ‘Let’s Go Hunting, Deer’ from their 3rd season on A&E.

The show opens at the Duck Commander warehouse where elves build duck calls late at night while the world sleeps. I’ve not been able to verify this but nobody, not family, not employees, no one seems to ever actually be working to produce duck calls on the show. So I assume elves are doing the heavy lifting, maybe escapees from Santa’s workshop.

The fellas are taking a break, from what I do not know since nobody ever seems to be working but none the less, it’s lunch time and everybody’s favorite kook, Uncle Si is preparing to dine on a southern delicacy; bologna!

Everyone raised below the Mason-Dixon line and over the age of 40 knows nothing satisfies a cravin’ quite like a thick slice of bologna with a squirt of mustard twixt two slices of Wonder Bread.

Also in the scene, Jase and Jep Robertson. Now the other ‘beards’ in the Duck Dynasty appear quite harmless, Phil and Uncle Si look like retired Hell’s Angels, Willie is equally benign, he kinda looks like Santa Clause before he let himself go. But Jase an Jeff, they look like meth dealers. I’ve no idea why the other beards seem folksy and fun while Jase and Jeff look like refugees from a Mexican drug gang, but they do. 

Anyway, Jep is bragging to the crew about his wife killing a deer on a recent hunt and listening to his tale Jase and Willie become slightly covetous of their little brothers wife. So they decide to take their wives hunting.

Meanwhile, back at the Robertson Ranch, Phil & Miss Kay are on a hunt of their own. But not for critters, no the Robertson patriarch and matriarch are searching for the original duck call blueprints.

This leads to a search of various storage sheds on the Robertson spread. There are six such sheds. This is a common for your standard Southern male, we believe you can never have too many sheds, shops, outbuildings etc. They just seem to multiply like rabbits on our property. My father was the same way, he had a barn and a shop and a tin shed. All were filled to the rafters with stuff.

During their search Phil reminisces about starting the Duck Commander business and how he started hand-crafting duck calls when the world was younger and his beard wasn’t nearly so grey. Then Uncle Si busts in.

Uncle Si is a classic, he is Kramer from Seinfeld, Schneider from One Day at a Time, Uncle Fester from The Addams Family. And he is real. I know this because as I said, the Robertsons and I are neighbors, well – we live in the same town, not the same neighborhood.

I don’t know Uncle Si personally but being a northeast Louisiana native I’ve known a 1,000 ‘Uncle Si’s so trust me, you just can’t fake that level of redneck. While rummaging for their duck call blueprints they come across a picture of Uncle Si when he served at the pleasure of another Uncle, this one named Sam, in a place called Vietnam. I had no idea he’d served. Thank you Uncle Si.

Out in the ‘deer woods’, Willie and Jase are introducing their spouses Korie and Missy to the joys of being as quiet as possible while sitting perfectly still in a deer stand for hours. That, and waking up before the chickens, are just a few of the reasons yours truly stopped hunting about the time I learned to drive.

It’s a cute segment but obviously scripted, the ladies are a little too whiny, the fellas too determined to make their brides love hunting as much as they do. But like I said, it’s cute; Missy’s look of horror when Jase smears mud on her outfit to cover her perfume, Korie spraying herself down with deer urine, culminating  with the ladies making their way back to the truck after the boys abandon them for three hours.

The show wraps up with the usual family meal video, we hear Phil offer a blessing then Willie’s words to the wise are heard as we watch the family dig into another massive dinner.

I’ve missed a LOT of Duck Dynasty after their debut season, I haven’t seen a single episode of season 2 and ‘Let’s Go Hunting, Deer’ is my first show of the third season.

But I plan to catch up, it’s been too long since I visited my famous neighbors.

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