Browsing All posts tagged under »Random Tweets«

Random Tweets – June Edition

June 4, 2013

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Attention singles, I know Valentine’s Day is a tough day but take heart, you could be dating Oscar Pistorius. This morning President Obama came out firmly against the drinking of Drano. Tea Party folks, I think you know what needs to be done now. FOX News hires Herman Cain cause screw Michael Steele. Herman Cain […]

Random Tweets (Early Spring Edition)

April 15, 2013

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You gotta fight… For your right… toooo SCOTTY!!!’ – Sh@t my James Doohan fans says That TV show Hart of Dixie sucks and not just because of how it reminds me that Robert Wagner killed his wife. “Show us your cleats!” Traditional call to encourage football players to give you plastic bead necklaces. One of […]

Kneel Before Random Tweets!

December 26, 2012

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Whenever you pronounce, ‘Alls I’ve got to say is…’ you’re setting humanity back on the evolutionary scale so stop doing that please. Have you ever hated someone so much that you wish you could go back in time and kill their mom? I have not, I just wondered if you had. If you ‘liked’ George […]

And Yet Another Edition of Random Tweets

December 21, 2012

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I don’t just think Chris Brown is an asshole, I think his fans are assholes too. I don’t just despise the Kardashians, I also loathe those who ‘keep up’ with them. And if you’re a fan of Honey Boo Boo sterilization = mandatory. Or you must self-deport. From Earth. I could never leave my pets […]

Random Tweets From A Disturbed Mind

September 20, 2012

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“When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be yo fat ass mama.” From here on out, anyone who uses the phrase ‘put on your big girl panties’, is declared an enemy of the state and shall be shot on site. Dear Princess Kate Middleton, please put your titties […]

Another Edition of Random Tweets

June 6, 2012

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“Me Tarzan, him Cheetah the Limp”. Cheetah suffered from erectile disfunction and never forgave Johnny Wiseassmuller for this cruel joke. You know what really creeps me out? Chex Mix. It looks like a pretzel had a late term abortion or a squirrel who has had its stomach pumped. When I’m dancin a hoedown and muh […]